My heart belongs to the desert

My heart belongs to the desert; land of sun, dirt, rock.
I am the raven, dark shadow on the red rock wall. I am the sage, slowly crinkling in the sun. I am the rock pinnacle, rising out of the flat. I am the sun, browning rows of fence. I am the road, pavement stretching on into the horizon. I am the hawk on the fence post, waiting. I am the jackrabbit, listening. I am the bone-thin horse, running. I am the wind, touching every grass, every particle of dust.  I am the hard-baked earth, cracked and parched.  I am the tree, twisted by life without. I am the beetle, crawling. I am the coyote, spilling secrets to the stars. I am the bright moon, giving light to those who cannot see. I am the traveler, sleeping in the night-cold, peaceful.
I am the one standing on the rise, greeting the rising sun with my own spirit-light, the light within merging with the light without.
All pictures were taken in Utah (2011) during a road trip taken with my friend Max from Ohio to Colorado, via all sorts of interesting places like the Red River Gorge in Kentucky, New Orleans, the freeway system of Texas (not really), New Mexico, and Utah. This piece was written during that same trip. 

The words of the world

Vedauwoo, Wyoming 2011
Washington D.C. 2011

I like to think that everything is made up of words. If you looked deep enough, instead of atoms you’d find that everything is a microscopic mass of words, quietly composing themselves into living things. Like atoms, words are always moving, vibrating in place with possibility, giving everything definition and substanance.

Utah 2011
Pisgah National Forest, North Carolina 2010
Words are life, they are everything I see and hear. Everything has its own words even if we can’t translate them.
Empidonax flycatcher, Erie Pennsylvania 2011
Glacier National Park, Montana 2009

I want to be a translator.
I want my words, the words of me, my essence, to be part of the words of the world. That’s all anyone wants, to be part of their surroundings, to be a thread in the fabric of life, to be part of the whole. If my thread wasn’t here, who would be in my place? Without my words, my noise, what sound would there be? There would be words to fill my gap, but the whole composition would be altered. Or so I choose to believe.

Cooper’s Hawk, Erie Pennsylvania 2011
Zion National Park, Utah 2008

We all need to be spoken and read.

Aullwood Audubon Center and Farm, Dayton Ohio 2009
New York City, New York 2011

Shoreline

Florida, 2012
North Carolina, 2011

One

                Pounding, pounding. The dull wet slap of my feet in damp-packed sand at the edge of water. Waves, irregular intervals, stretching for my toes. I run, leap, quick. Along the edge of life, where motion and stillness collide, I stop and breathe. Deep prana, look out over the ocean, exhale. I see my self, a dolphin, leap from my soul out into the blue and I know peace. The waves grab but always release. I run but I always stop. The sand is cool on my feet, the waves rough and loud. Quick, graceful, jump, gone.
Florida, 2012
Kelley’s Island, Ohio, 2009
North Carolina, 2011
Two
                On the edge of my world I study the creatures that reside there, riding the edges of existence. These birds, equally at home on air, water, or land, fascinate me. How they dominate these three elements is mystifying, as I only manage a shaky grasp on one. I watch them run in and out along the shoreline, probing quickly between waves, periodically leaping into the air as one and circling around my head, guiding by instinct until they are clear of the potential danger I pose. Eyes squinted against the sun and wind, I watch as they land down the beach and resume dodging waves. The longer-legged sandpipers have no need to scurry in and out of every wave, but the stubby-legged sanderlings run to avoid a cool dousing. Occasionally, one small piper misjudges and must take to the air in a small flustered bundle of dripping feathers, peeping until it again settles back into rhythm with the constant motion of the waves.
                I feel so apart from these natural rhythms, though I wish to be a part. But I know, in an hour or so, that I will turn around and walk back to my car, drive back to civilization. I have nothing against modern conveniences, but at times I wish I could be more like these shorebirds and span different worlds with such ease. Being able to transition so smoothly between two extremes, like a bird between air and shore, would be like slipping into a second reality.
Florida, 2012
Galapagos Islands, 2008
Florida, 2012
Three
                I want to dance barefoot in the sand, spinning until the dunes and sea blend together in a swirl of color and I fall winded on the soft sand in a heap, inhaling the damp air, waiting for the world to right itself around me.
Costa Rica, 2009
North Carolina, 2011

“All the best stories are about love.”

Red River Gorge, Kentucky, November 2011
Baltimore, Maryland, June 2011

“That which I have learned I leave as my legacy.
Close all gates behind yourself.
Every generation should have its own Bible.
The walls we erect to protect Ourselves from early pain often shut us off from later joy.
To immerse oneself in the natural world is to share a universal thread with every living thing.
Always declare yourself to the person you love.
Live each day not as though it is your last, but as though it is the last day of the lives of the people you meet.
All the best stories are about love.”

Merritt Island NWR, Florida, February 2012

Howard Frank Mosher
from the book On Kingdom Mountain

A Day At the Beach

Sit.
Damp sand.
Watch waves roll.
Wind pulls the ear.
Listen, it says, feel me.
Sun at my back, warm, bright.
Shorebirds scurry, fast fast probe, take flight.
Beyond the waves dolphins flash, light gray blurs.
A pelican dives, comes up empty, and tries again.
The sand is soothingly cool between my toes, firmly soft.
Why am I here, I wonder, how is my being me? 
Why this spot, this desolate stretch of shore, with seaweed and shells?
A sanderling quickly trots by, and it suddenly all doesn’t matter.
In this moment all is well, the air is clear.
I can see for miles all around except behind.
Forward changes every time I turn my head.
As the sandpiper flies, I’m already there.
Sun shows the way, reveals wonder.
Wind whispers comforts, gentle mantras.
I stand, ready now.
Direction steels conviction.
First step.
Go. 
~~~
 
I wrote this today while I was sitting on the beach at Canaveral National Seashore, playing with words. It took me much longer than it should have because I was slightly distracted about halfway through, and it was very difficult to resume my original train of thought.
If you ever go to Canaveral National Seashore, I would not recommend visiting parking lot 5, the last parking lot from the northern entrance (Apollo Beach). Not knowing any better, I parked there. I meandered down the beach a ways, then sat down to write in my journal.
Not where I sat. I have no idea how this got out here, or what it’s from.
As I was writing, an older man walks by. I glance up and wish I hadn’t. I see his feet first, sneakers, white tube socks, and then… let’s just say there was a distinct lack of material around his nether regions. It was cold out, the breeze was pretty chilly, so he also had on a windbreaker. To keep warm.
I also happened to see said gentleman again when he came off the beach (fully clothed, thank goodness; and this was completely unintentional on my part, I was trying to avoid him) and I must say he would have been sent home from Highland Middle School—his shorts were not fingertip length.
I didn’t know it at the time, but Stop 5 is where the nudists go, because it’s out on the end. The beach stretching south is undeveloped for miles, until you get to Playalinda Beach, the part of Canaveral National Seashore nearest Merritt Island NWR. There, it’s Stop 12, the furthest parking lot north, that’s the nudist part.
I’ve been told that the beach here was traditionally a nudist beach, but when the NPS took it over there was some confrontation between nudists, NPS, and the local police. Now there is an unofficial agreement that the nudists will go to the furthest stops, and no one will bother them. However, they don’t exactly have this up on a sign, so how are we innocent tourists supposed to know this?
Nude willet: acceptable. Nude old men: not so much.
Reminds me of when I was in Oregon, and we went to a hot springs alongside a stream near the field station. The pool was slightly larger than a hot tub, barely enough room for the four of us (and, actually, not all that hot). We are all in bathing suits, I should point out. A man walks up and, in front of us, proceeds to strip and then get in with us. We were sitting in the deeper, warmer parts, so he was in the ankle-deep section. Quite suddenly we all realized we were ready to head out, and quickly did so.
My eyeballs are still burning.